TOTD 2018-9-22: Mom Quote

My mom has often said, “Hurting people hurt. Healed people heal.” This explains a lot of life to me. Some people find themselves in a hole and want to drag others down. While others used that hole to build a foundation to raise people up. The simple trite saying is “You either get better or bitter.”

I hope this quote will not be used to put people down as much as to understand them. People lashing out often are transferring their anger to you. Actually what you have done maybe was really not that important. You were just there.

There are also people who have learned so much from their tough times. They generously share how to get on in life. They have smiles and patience when those are hard to come by. If you are just there, you are blessed.

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8 thoughts on “TOTD 2018-9-22: Mom Quote”

  1. Spectacular incidents aside, I’ve long thought that when people get really angry, they are angry at themselves.  And even in horrific incidents, there is frequently a *misplaced* self-anger.

    So I have a working hypothesis that all anger is a result of perceived failure.  For an anodyne example, if somebody stole your pet rock, you may rightfully be angry at the person who stole it, but this is fueled by your own perceived failure to prevent the theft.

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  2. Haakon Dahl:
    Spectacular incidents aside, I’ve long thought that when people get really angry, they are angry at themselves.  And even in horrific incidents, there is frequently a *misplaced* self-anger.

    Where do you think that anger comes from?

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  3. 10 Cents:

    Haakon Dahl:
    Spectacular incidents aside, I’ve long thought that when people get really angry, they are angry at themselves.  And even in horrific incidents, there is frequently a *misplaced* self-anger.

    Where do you think that anger comes from?

    Ah.  Edited while you were posting.

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  4. Haakon Dahl:
    Spectacular incidents aside, I’ve long thought that when people get really angry, they are angry at themselves.  And even in horrific incidents, there is frequently a *misplaced* self-anger.

    So I have a working hypothesis that all anger is a result of perceived failure.  For an anodyne example, if somebody stole your pet rock, you may rightfully be angry at the person who stole it, but this is fueled by your own perceived failure to prevent the theft.

    I think a lot of anger comes from feeling unloved or not being respected. Your example the person gets angry for they don’t want to be unworthy because they are a failure. People secure in their worth don’t get upset as much. An insecure person feels this evidence the whole world hates them.

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  5. 10 Cents:

    Haakon Dahl:
    Spectacular incidents aside, I’ve long thought that when people get really angry, they are angry at themselves.  And even in horrific incidents, there is frequently a *misplaced* self-anger.

    So I have a working hypothesis that all anger is a result of perceived failure.  For an anodyne example, if somebody stole your pet rock, you may rightfully be angry at the person who stole it, but this is fueled by your own perceived failure to prevent the theft.

    Or perhaps angry at self because you recognize that it was silly in the first place to care about a pet rock.

    I think a lot of anger comes from feeling unloved or not being respected. Your example the person gets angry for they don’t want to be unworthy because they are a failure. People secure in their worth don’t get upset as much. An insecure person feels this evidence the whole world hates them.

    This seems correct to me.   A lot of anger is a coping mechanism for emotional neglect.  In others, anger is an expression of pride.

    There are all sorts of reasons and triggers for anger.   Mostly, anger is an expression of sin, whether your own sins, or resentment at suffering the consequences of others’ sins.

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  6. MJBubba:

    10 Cents:

    Haakon Dahl:
    Spectacular incidents aside, I’ve long thought that when people get really angry, they are angry at themselves.  And even in horrific incidents, there is frequently a *misplaced* self-anger.

    So I have a working hypothesis that all anger is a result of perceived failure.  For an anodyne example, if somebody stole your pet rock, you may rightfully be angry at the person who stole it, but this is fueled by your own perceived failure to prevent the theft.

    Or perhaps angry at self because you recognize that it was silly in the first place to care about a pet rock.

    I think a lot of anger comes from feeling unloved or not being respected. Your example the person gets angry for they don’t want to be unworthy because they are a failure. People secure in their worth don’t get upset as much. An insecure person feels this evidence the whole world hates them.

    This seems correct to me.   A lot of anger is a coping mechanism for emotional neglect.  In others, anger is an expression of pride.

    There are all sorts of reasons and triggers for anger.   Mostly, anger is an expression of sin, whether your own sins, or resentment at suffering the consequences of others’ sins.

    Anger is not bad. It is good to be angry at times. If anger is used to mean bitterness and resentment then I agree but I think those are different.

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