SOTU: What Trump Should Say (but Won’t)

From Dan Calabrese at the Western Journal:

I don’t know why you’re applauding. Three-quarters of you hate me and half of you admit it.

Not that I came here to make you love me – I knew that wouldn’t happen – but you know it’s funny: You all get so upset with me for what I say on Twitter, but you talk the same way when you don’t think anyone is listening. I may be crude and I may be uncouth, but putting on a show that you’re any different stopped fooling people a long time ago. That’s why the voters didn’t listen to you when you told them Hillary was presidential and I wasn’t.

But no matter. I won, she lost, I’m here, she’s not, and you’re stuck with me.

Oh. Right. I’m stuck with you too. And I guess that’s why we’re here tonight. The Constitution says I have to report to you on the State of the Union. It doesn’t say you have to listen, which is probably why Justice Ginsburg is nodding off already, but there are some things you and the American people need to know. You’re going to run over to CNN when this is over and tell them my entire speech was “outrageous” or “fear mongering” or whatever, so I’m going to make sure now that they hear it directly from me.

Read the whole thing….

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Author: John Walker

Founder of Ratburger.org, Autodesk, Inc., and Marinchip Systems. Author of The Hacker's Diet. Creator of www.fourmilab.ch.

9 thoughts on “SOTU: What Trump Should Say (but Won’t)”

  1. All good with two exceptions:

    1. Many of them will not applaud. Some will probably make faces or rude noises. I’m lookin’ at you RPOS (aka AOC). The anti-Semite girls with the hijabs too.
    2. Ginsburg might not show up unless her taxidermist gets his act together quick. And if he does, Ginsburg won’t be nodding.
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  2. Just read the whole thing. It’s simultaneously hilarious and depressing. That’s quite a literary accomplishment.

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  3. I see absolutely nothing wrong with this copy. In fact, I think it would bring great relief to the many of us who actually know what the SOTU is in and why. And best of all, we have a POTUS who isn’t the least bit afraid to deliver bad news. We’re not stupid; we know we can’t fix problems until we acknowledge they exist. DJT has always understood this from the moment he was sent to a military academy because of his youthful indiscretions.

    The Democrats and many of their supporters seem to relish disaster; it gives them a reason to exist and I place equal blame on both pols and their constituents. The Dems are taking full advantage of the lazy, socialist, and non-capitalist sentiments of too many voters. So much easier to whine and point fingers than actually work hard to excel and overcome the inevitable barriers one faces in life.

    The world is tough and not fair but if you use those facts as an excuse to refuse to compete, you’ve lost your life.

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  4. drlorentz:
    Ginsburg might not show up unless her taxidermist gets his act together quick. And if he does, Ginsburg won’t be nodding.

    You’re bad to the bone but I liked this. 🙂

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  5. I’m really afraid they’re gonna do something awful to Trump.  Did you watch Designated Survivor?

    But if no disaster happens, I’m just afraid it’s gonna  be very boring.  And depressing.   Hope I’m wrong.

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