Better than “Tears of My Enemies”?

I was watching the award ceremony for baseball great, Mariano Rivera. He was receiving the highest civilian honor the nation can bestow from President Trump. He had such a heavy fastball that he broke bats. He broke so many bats that the Minnesota Twins gave him a chair made from them. When it comes to baseball I think, “Sitting on the shattered bats of my opponents.” is better than drinking the tears of enemies.

I wonder if I can get something made from the broken keyboards of trolls.

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