Job Opening: Paranormal Hedge Fund Advisor

X-Files logoJust posted two days ago on indeed.com is this opening for an “Expert Hedge Fund Advisor”, a part-time position paying US$ 125,000 to 225,000 per year, with The Soul Rider, LLC of San Francisco, California.  Extracts from the posting (emphasis and capitals are as in the original):

Using Supernormal Cognition our private fund aspires to provide a 75% accuracy rate in the prediction of near-term financial markets. You will be our private fund’s advisor. Your long expertise and great reputation in financial investments are paramount. You must have 20 years as a financial industry expert AND as an advisor to 10-figure funds.

Depending on whom you listen to, we’ve heard that annual, gross commodity, equity or ETF ROIs between 80% and 100% are do-able. The private fund with which you’ll work is in its second iteration within the same legal charter. The first iteration successfully used Remote Viewing to forecast market motion of a SPY-related index. Our extensive research hasn’t found any other company with both a similar charter and methods, in any country.

Our first methods showed they could produce around 69% gross annual ROI. Thus a 100% annual ROI is our target baseline in the equities & commodities division of our private fund. Within our company it’s my desire to fund US$32M AUM or more with our special methods.

Now, please let me know your answers to these questions below?

1. What is the single most scientifically-inexplicable event of your life?
2. What do you feel and see about that event?

Thank you. I’ve heard most every imaginable sort of answer. This is not the time to be fearful, shy, terse or laconic. Please communicate clearly and fully about your answers. Lots of thoughtfully expressed words and/or concepts are a very good thing in this case.

Here is their page for recruiting remote viewers.

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Author: John Walker

Founder of Ratburger.org, Autodesk, Inc., and Marinchip Systems. Author of The Hacker's Diet. Creator of www.fourmilab.ch.

7 thoughts on “Job Opening: Paranormal Hedge Fund Advisor”

  1. I wonder if I would like knowing the future. It is great to know good things will happen but it would be terrible to know about the bad stuff.

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  2. Bryan G. Stephens:
    I would apply, but I already know they won’t hire me.

    The funny thing about such a job listing is that you’d expect all of the best candidates to have applied before it was posted.

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  3. John Walker:
    The funny thing about such a job listing is that you’d expect all of the best candidates to have applied before it was posted.

    Sadly you still have to post the ad to comply with federal hiring guidelines for hiring prescient people!

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  4. John Walker:

    Bryan G. Stephens:
    I would apply, but I already know they won’t hire me.

    The funny thing about such a job listing is that you’d expect all of the best candidates to have applied before it was posted.

    I knew about this months ago but didn’t apply because i knew the pay would be lousy.

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  5. drlorentz:

    John Walker:

    Bryan G. Stephens:
    I would apply, but I already know they won’t hire me.

    The funny thing about such a job listing is that you’d expect all of the best candidates to have applied before it was posted.

    I knew about this months ago but didn’t apply because i knew the pay would be lousy.

    I knew you wouldn’t take the job.

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