A Field Guide to Handgun Calibers

I’ve been working on a couple of things recently — shooting guns, playing piano, and cooking.  Semiautomatic handguns are available with a profusion of ammo choices, so I thought I’d take a moment to clear this all up.

In a way, a gun is just one more communication channel opened between two people.  Let’s take a look at what your choice of caliber says to the person who lost the coin toss and will now receive:

    • .22LR  Die, rodent scum!
    • .25       Take off your hat when addressing a lady.
    • .32        Fix me a drink.  Shaken, not stirred.
    • .380     Fashion times safety is a constant.
    • 9mm   Die, terrorist scum!
    • .40        They’ll have a hard time identifying you.
    • .45        Die, communist scum!
    • 10mm  They’ll never find your body.
    • .50        I said six kilos, not five.
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15 thoughts on “A Field Guide to Handgun Calibers”

  1. Edited

    • 22LR  Die, rodent scum!
    • .25       Take off your hat when addressing a lady.
    • .32        Fix me a drink.  Shaken, not stirred.
    • .380     Fashion times safety is a constant.
    • 9mm   Die, terrorist scum!
    • .40        They’ll have a hard time identifying you.
    • .357 Sig.They’ll have an easier time identifying you.
    • 5.7×28 Ketchup time!
    • .45       Get off of my lawn! Die, communist scum!
    • 10mm  Trust me, I’m a professional. They’ll never find your body.
    • .50        I said six kilos, not five.
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  2. .357 Sig may leave you able to be identified, but it will be from the morgue and you clearly won’t be an organ donor – of anything except possibly corneas.

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  3. 5.7×28 – Gawd but what a long round. And perhaps the best answer might be something like, “You don’t need no stinkin’ body armor!”

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  4. I personally think a PPK/S with a decent can and Aguila Subsonic ammo (and a properly tuned recoil spring) say something quite different than “rodent scum”. Just how I see it.

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  5. Almost any of these calibers can be met with a decent round.

    I stuck with the old faithful straight-case, popular load, lump bullet stand-bys — present in the Usual Suspects’ cadavers.

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  6. I mean, Hornet .17 is pretty neat — it throws a grain of rice at three times the speed of sound, and there’s even a handgun for it (not really a semiauto, uh, it has four tiny loaded barrels and that’s that), but that’s not really where I was going with this list.

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  7. Devereaux:
    Wish I could shoot in real life like they do in the movies.

    Yeah, and no ear protection shooting a .44 Auto Mag.

    In the movies:

    BANG, BANG, BANG.

    Witty comment.

    Witty response.

    In real life:

    BANG, BANG, BANG.

    (Ringing ears)

    Mumble, mumble, mumble.

    What?

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  8. I read up on this company and the alleged product after ctlaw informed me of its existence.   Kind of a “stench of death” property IMHO.  Sounds like the gun never really worked right, and now a second investor, a “re-founder” is having a go at the IP.

    This is a movie gun all the way around.  It was born as a Western set in a city, and died as the character study of a bankrupt visionary who was unfortunately not a gunmaker.

    Now it’s a zombie movie.  Dead property walking.

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  9. The AutoMag was always one of those concept guns that had promise but no development money. Dessert Eagle ended up solving the problems of shooting a .44 Mag in a handgun. Any of you who’ve shot a S&W Model 29 know exactly the issues with shooting such a powerful cartridge in a revolver. The Super Blackhawk kind of can be shot IF you put a set of rubber Hogues on instead of the original grips.

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  10. Devereaux:
    The AutoMag was always one of those concept guns that had promise but no development money. Dessert Eagle ended up solving the problems of shooting a .44 Mag in a handgun. Any of you who’ve shot a S&W Model 29 know exactly the issues with shooting such a powerful cartridge in a revolver. The Super Blackhawk kind of can be shot IF you put a set of rubber Hogues on instead of the original grips.

    I’m way out over my tips on speculation here, but I think that the AutoMag suffers from more money than the management can effectively direct.  Again. 

    Would be interesting to hear TKC’s take, just based on what’s on the website.  It reads like well-intended people making small decisions for a big project.  “When ready, we will only accept orders for a hundred or more, and only for 24 hours.”  This is the sort of business that no other business wants to do business with.

    This is in addition to the numerous technical issues — fair enough — it’s a technical industry.

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  11. Think on that order sentence.

    The wholesale price of this piece would probably be somewhere equal to or greater than $1,000/weapon. So a minimum order would be for $100,000. This for a weapon that is hardly modern, and at best a curiosity. ?Where is the market for that. ?Who is going to put out $1,000 for this when there is the Dessert Eagle that clearly works and well, makes the .44 Mag cartridge shoot like any centerfire round. IT is designed with a double recoil spring system and a bolt that is very like an AR bolt head. PLUS it comes apart easily for cleaning. Can’t think of who would be willing to plunk down $100 large for a weapon that will most likely collect dust on one’s shelves.

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