Get it Off Your Chest!

Brassieres would make great face masks.   And you get two every time you buy  a bra!
There’s  nothing magical,or particularly hi-tech,  about these little paper burkas everybody is sporting, is there?  (And thanks,  no, I don’t need another lecture about  N95 or R2D2  masks, or whatever. ) Most people are desperate to get those little paper strips in health-care-baby-blue that hook over your ears.  That’s what they’re struggling to manufacture.

Run out to Walmart and buy up  the A cups!  Trust me, those underendowed girls don’t need ‘em. If they’re padded, that’s probably all the better!   Cut ‘em down the middle, staple rubber bands to each side, and voila!

 

And BTW, this up-front lingerie should also repel Islamic terrorists, in case any of them are contemplating taking advantage of our medically induced national coma .  Win-win!

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20 thoughts on “Get it Off Your Chest!”

  1. Hypatia:
    Brassieres would make great face masks.   And you get two every time you buy  a bra!
    There’s  nothing magical,or particularly hi-tech,  about these little paper burkas everybody is sporting, is there?  (And thanks,  no, I don’t need another lecture about  N95 or R2D2  masks, or whatever. ) Most people are desperate to get those little paper strips in health-care-baby-blue that hook over your ears.  That’s what they’re struggling to manufacture.

    Run out to Walmart and buy up  the A cups!  If they’re padded, that’s probably all the better!   Cut ‘em down the middle, staple rubber bands to each side, and voila!

     

    And BTW, this up-front lingerie should also repel Islamic terrorists, in case any of them are contemplating taking advantage of our medically induced national coma .  Win-win!

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    I loved this the first time I saw it.
    Thanks for the reminder!
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  2. Oh…I had just heard of this.  But I guess I was, uh, behind the curve?  It’s old news after all: flat.    I feel like a boob.

    (But you gotta give me the Islamic-repellent twist, right? Remember when those bozos were allegedly so incapacitated by the mere sight of ladies’ underwear?)

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  3. Hypatia:
    Oh…I had just heard of this.  But I guess I was, uh, behind the curve?  It’s old news after all: flat.    I feel like a boob.

    Don’t worry we like uplifting posts here.

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  4. Brilliant! Adapt and improvise as the Marines say. And after our national fit of hand-wringing and bed-wetting abates, you can donate any extras to the local synagogue for the schlemiels who forget their kippahs.

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  5. Ace Fungo:
    Brilliant! Adapt and improvise as the Marines say. And after our national fit of hand-wringing and bed-wetting abates, you can donate any extras to the local synagogue for the schlemiels who forget their kippahs.

    Now would that be kosher? Halal if I know.

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  6. 10 Cents:

    Hypatia:
    Oh…I had just heard of this.  But I guess I was, uh, behind the curve?  It’s old news after all: flat.    I feel like a boob.

    Don’t worry we like uplifting posts here.

    Yes, but…it’s no longer titillating…

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  7. It appears Ten Pennies penchant for punning is highly contagious but, fortunately, not terribly serious. Almost entirely frivolous in fact, with cringing and groaning  being the most common symptoms.

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  8. Ace Fungo:
    It appears Ten Pennies penchant for punning is highly contagious but, fortunately, not terribly serious. Almost entirely frivolous in fact, with cringing and groaning  being the most common symptoms.

    What do advise, Doc? Social distancing? A quarantine? A broad range of treatments?

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  9. 10 Cents:

    Ace Fungo:
    It appears Ten Pennies penchant for punning is highly contagious but, fortunately, not terribly serious. Almost entirely frivolous in fact, with cringing and groaning  being the most common symptoms.

    What do advise, Doc? Social distancing? A quarantine? A broad range of treatments?

    I heard: immunity.

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  10. Hypatia:

    10 Cents:

    Ace Fungo:
    It appears Ten Pennies penchant for punning is highly contagious but, fortunately, not terribly serious. Almost entirely frivolous in fact, with cringing and groaning  being the most common symptoms.

    What do advise, Doc? Social distancing? A quarantine? A broad range of treatments?

    I heard: immunity.

    Some blisters never seem to just grow a callus.

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  11. Haakon Dahl:

    Hypatia:

    10 Cents:

    Ace Fungo:
    It appears Ten Pennies penchant for punning is highly contagious but, fortunately, not terribly serious. Almost entirely frivolous in fact, with cringing and groaning  being the most common symptoms.

    What do advise, Doc? Social distancing? A quarantine? A broad range of treatments?

    I heard: immunity.

    Some blisters never seem to just grow a callus.

    To go back to the topic of the OP, “Haakon, my feet are down here!”

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  12. 10 Cents:

    Ace Fungo:
    It appears Ten Pennies penchant for punning is highly contagious but, fortunately, not terribly serious. Almost entirely frivolous in fact, with cringing and groaning  being the most common symptoms.

    What do advise, Doc? Social distancing? A quarantine? A broad range of treatments?

    For you a brief fluff-dry I think. You’ll still be the Typhoid Mary of bad puns, but spiffier.

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  13. Ace Fungo:

    10 Cents:

    Ace Fungo:
    It appears Ten Pennies penchant for punning is highly contagious but, fortunately, not terribly serious. Almost entirely frivolous in fact, with cringing and groaning  being the most common symptoms.

    What do advise, Doc? Social distancing? A quarantine? A broad range of treatments?

    For you a brief fluff-dry I think. You’ll still be the Typhoid Mary of bad puns, but spiffier.

    Hey, I am not as bad as Vlad the Misspeller, Ace.

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  14. 10 Cents:

    Ace Fungo:

    10 Cents:

    Ace Fungo:
    It appears Ten Pennies penchant for punning is highly contagious but, fortunately, not terribly serious. Almost entirely frivolous in fact, with cringing and groaning  being the most common symptoms.

    What do advise, Doc? Social distancing? A quarantine? A broad range of treatments?

    For you a brief fluff-dry I think. You’ll still be the Typhoid Mary of bad puns, but spiffier.

    Hey, I am not as bad as Vlad the Misspeller, Ace.

    Right, nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition and nobody’s as bad as Vald the Misspeller.

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