25 words or less and no points off for bad taste.
Just to get things started —
“I’ve got baby ducks in my van.”
Not to worry though, The Washington Post assures us that Joe’s “… affectionate and sometimes physical style is one of the former vice president’s trademarks, a defining feature of the warm and upbeat persona he has built…”
Watch this video of when Joe was massage therapist laureate of the Senate and see if you don’t agree.
See? warm and upbeat — or horny and grabby, your mileage may vary — and just like Freddy Krueger, the stuff that young girls dreams are made on.
Oh sure, The Post has been claiming for two and a half years that the President is a Russian agent and it’s true that their owner, the richest man in the world, has convinced himself that Trump and the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia have conspired to hack his phone and reroute selfies of his favorite Amazon Prime member — photos lovingly intended for the edification of his new girlfriend — to the National Enquirer for lurid exploitation. (Alexa, where are my dick pix?) But they can’t be wrong all the time and this once at least I’m sure they’ve hit just the right tone with this puff piece about old men who are fondle– er, fond of women and children.
As you watch the video you can almost hear Maurice Chevalier singing ‘Thank Heaven for Little Girls’.
Feliz navidad amigos! Tell Santa (your choice, Santa Claus or Santa Anna) THIS is what you want under your Christmas piñata this year.
Infamous psuedosquaw, Elizabeth Warren, aka Fauxcahontas, aka Sack-a-baloney, hardest hit.
Mark Steyn has a post about the muzzi mayor of London banning silverware.
You’ll recall that in The Time Machine, H.G. Wells imagined a future in which the denizens of England had split into two species, the peaceable and compliant Eloi and the Morlocks who relied on the Eloi as their primary food source. Wells had this transformation taking place over a very long time, something like 800 millennia. Yet barley 70 years after his death, it appears Britain has already become majority Eloi. Worse still, thanks to a political class hell bent on cultural suicide, they have pursued immigration policies which effectively shipped in the Morlocks from all the hellholes of the world.
[Edit: Original Title: “Next year in Damascus! (Because we haven’t pounded enough blood and treasure down the bottomless rathole of the Middle East” The reason for the edit is a title this long messes up the notifications. –Dime.]
As Tucker Carlson sees it, there’s a fever in the swampland and it ain’t for more cowbell. No my friends, in DC they got themselves a consensus — a BIpartisan consensus with a capital “B” and that rhymes with “P” and that’s pretty much what they’re doing: peeing down our leg and claiming it’s raining. A couple of days ago Trump talks about bringing troops home from Syria and then, before you can say “a neocon wet dream come true”, Assad reportedly*uses chlorine gas on innocent women and children. Now some of us are skeptical but not so the main stream media nor many in congress. Howard Dean and Lindsey Graham for instance are singing from the same hymnal — Malleus Maleficarum perhaps — when they call for the president to rain hell fire down on Syria. Since the place is pretty much already a dumpster fire, I guess their idea is to make it, you know, … bigger.
The media is easy enough to figure out. I doubt they give a righteous rip about innocent women and children or anyone else in Syria. They want to see Trump hung up with the Syrian tar baby so they can turn around and blame him for getting the country into another quagmire. Democrats in congress are probably similarly motivated and Republicans … well, if there were a K Street lobby for bombing Assad, I would say follow the money but in this case maybe they’re just credulous and stupid. As to Howard Dean and Lindsey Graham in particular: Dean seems always to have been impetuous and half mad, and Graham may just want to see the world burn. Apparently light ‘n’ the loafers Lindsey has become chairman of the ‘Bombs Away’ lobby by default now that John McCain has entered an advanced state of disintegration in preparation for his descent to the ninth circle of hell, there to take up his rightful station as Satan’s full time butt plug — 24/7, never a dull moment, freeway close and no time off for good behavior (of which, if past performance is any indication of future results, there will be none).
*by ‘reportedly’ I mean reports from a media I don’t trust of claims by a government I don’t trust
Because, according to the boffins at the School of Chemical Engineering and Analytical Sciences at the University of Manchester, that sandwich your eating — given sufficient time and suspension of disbelief — will destroy the planet. Or, to put it another way, the Climate Change lobby once again jumps the shark, or rather, every shark in every ocean that ever existed.
OK, a show of hands: who thinks we should put our fleet of antique B-52 bombers to good use by carpet bombing all putative institutions of higher learning? I say we spare the junior colleges as they occasionally teach useful skills like auto repair and cosmetology.